Maserati Dreams

Hmm. I had the strangest dream this morning just before I woke up! I dreamt that I was coming home and driving a Maserati (!!!) and so I parked it and went up to my apartment and then I realized I forgot my ring (this really cool ring I used to have that my first ever ex gave to me which then broke into a million pieces (actually 5 to be exact) when I dropped it (I know right, what freakin-ass ring breaks when you drop it? But this was actual real life) but then I got a new one which was SO UGLY that it actually ended our relationship) and so I came back down to my car and THE GRANDMOTHER from Gilmore Girls was there standing beside my Maserati (!!!) holding my ring and interrogating me about it! (Right now, in my state of absolute consciousness, I can't imagine why anyone would get so upset about one ring, (unless of course, its THE one ring to rule them all) but the old lady was seriously ragingly angry with me and scolding me in the carpark right in front of my Maserati!) And maybe its because I haven't had much experience with old people in real life, but apparently I didn't handle this very well at all. I started shouting back at her along the lines of, "You are going to die soon, you old hag!" and she didn't even care! AND not only did she refuse to give me back my ring, she held it hostage in her old-lady bra! I was just about to set her hair on fire when I woke up! With the most horrible headache everrr.

Obviously my dream makes no sense; that old woman was always my favourite character on the show aside from the glorious Lorelais. And I usually like old people, I get somewhat annoyed with slow old people but I have absolutely no history of violence with them.

So my week's been kinda boring, so I decided to test out my FBI skills on Sharbie who seems to be very elusive when she's talking about her steamy nights out in town while the cat's away. Weebs, this is for you:

Sharbie: Yeah I watched Little Fockers with my friend last night!
Me: Oh it was good right! Jessica Alba was funny uhh!
Sha: Not really, but she was hot and sexy. I loved the movie!
Me: Oh okay cool did your friend like it too?
Sha: Uhhh yah
Me: Wow did you guys share popcorn? Did you get your chocolate popcorn?
Sha: Yah.. It was all good.
Me: So did you guys have dinner together?
Sha: Yah we had pastamania, very nice!
Me: OMG WAS IT A GUY OR A GIRL!!!
Sha: Haha it was a hot sexy guy! Lick lick!
Sha: I knew you were trying to investigate me, you're such a bad spy!

Haha ikr! I totally couldn't come up with one innocent question that would confirm the gender of her alleged partner for the night! I still can't, so if you have any ideas please tell me, because case is still not closed. 2 more months before case is officially closed. She's like Elise Ward (played by Urmila Matondkar more like it) and I'm the Italian police! And Daz is Paul Bettany haha!

I'm gonna spend all day getting over this nightmare, so if you call me and I don't pick up, I'd most likely be in my meditation chamber with my good friend and life-long soulmate, mister old chang kee.