Martha Stewart comes to Singapore

So its a full-fledged holiday and nobody seems to actually celebrate this vesak day thing (no offense to anyone who does, I just don't know any of you and sometimes my world shrinks to focus solely on my immediate acquaintances because I'm hugely self-centered and socially myopic and yet still freakishly awesome) so people are going to be at home with potato chips and thosei and what does channel 5 choose to show tonight? THE CHEETAH GIRLS. Yes, that crazy movie about little girls with giant boobs who act like grown women and think they have ALL THE WEIGHT of the world upon their young bosoms just because they're curvy. There is something about them that makes me literally want to feed myself to actual cheetahs. I would much rather be chewed to death within the jaws of a wild animal than watch them cheetah girls and their crazy fake hair parade.

(Yes, I do realize that all this leads to the ultimate conclusion that I indeed HAVE watched this movie before, and yes I did watch it once. Sometimes you just have to actually meet the cheetah and let it roar in your face like a crazy bitch to know that you need to run the hell away the next time you even smell one approaching)

I know, today's morning sun must have whacked me in the head with a creamy dose of bitchy. BUT my rantings are never not 100% legitimate, you know you're kinda annoyed with the whole cheetah girls situation too, right. But well, one great thing that's happening tonight is Anugerah Skrin! Finally after weeks of missing out on this show, I'll be home to watch this shizzle tonight!

So btw, Martha Stewart was in Singaporeland yesterday.



And she apparently goes Baba, according to Life! which must be a huge delight for Daryl, although I've been way too perplexed with the flesh-eating virus that seems to have gripped her right wrist to actually read the article. But its way too great a coincidence that it matches her earrings so I think that's just her crazy martha way of accessorizing. Plus I think her pose is pretty cute but at second glance I can somehow envision a knife in those hands and her stabbing that poor reporter repeatedly for not chopping onions in the right angle facing the sun while uttering the proper ancient mayan prayers as an homage to the ancestral spirits of that particular onion species or something. That's my Martha.

And oh how I LOVE HER, that show is one of my many many many guilty-pleasure daytime shows (right up there with Debbie Travis and Kylie Kwong and whatever else) and I love how she always looks like she's about to smack one of the audience members or her crew. She's totally like that chemistry prof I had back in jurongland who got totally cranky when she was pregnant and she had this constant look of irritation, like she was about to whip out her unborn child at any time, swing that thing around in the air and smack someone in the face with it. I would have loved to have met Martha, sigh!